Saturday, August 27, 2011

11 Months and counting

Well, she is 6 and has 3 less teeth than she started the week with! We also had a clinic visit on Friday. Her WBC's and ANC were higher than usual for her. Not too high like out of the normal range but high for her. Now, this is more than likely attributed to all the gunk her allergies are causing her to fight so we are not at all concerned that her norms are higher than her norms. Does that make sense? Also this means she's is 1 month away from celebrating 1 year cancer free!! The Docs say that after reaching your first year marker your chances for relapse decrease. No I don't know by how much nor do I know what her chances percentage wise WERE to relapse these past 11 months. I don't see the point in knowing these statistics, they get me NO WHERE. I can't stop the cancer from coming back no more than I could stop the cancer from happening in the first place!! "It is what it is." So I find no real comfort in the fact that she is reaching her year maker as being somehow "safe". Nor do I sit around and dwell on the what ifs or wring my hands with worry or make up statistics in my head just to "make it all better". Cause that is not who I am. I'm not a stick my head in the sand kind of a person nor am I a make crap up so that everything will be all better kind of a person. Tell me what I'm dealing with when I'm dealing with it and I'll do it. I'm not gonna borrow trouble nor am I gonna ignore it or sugar coat it.

Don't take any of that as me being somehow ungrateful that she is 11 months cancer free cause I am NOT ungrateful. I thank the Lord every day for my kids and their health and their LIVES!!! I am very grateful!! I am just real about it. The percentage of this or that happening means nothing to me. I am trying to live a healthy life physically and spiritually and mentally and I am trying to raise my kids to be healthy in those ways too. That is the best we can do. The rest is out of our hands. Let me see if I can break down my thoughts on statistics when it comes to cancer. A doctor told a friend of mine something to this extent (it is not verbatim).....if you make it cancer free for 5 years your chances of living longer without cancer increases than if you only make it 3 years cancer free. WHAT?!?! Yeah, you just lived cancer free for 5 years rather than 3, you just lived 2 more years of cancer free!! Now, I realize he could have meant your chances after beating cancer for a second time but still, the way the stats are presented and manipulated just render them useless to me.

I have complete peace that ViviAnne is fine and cancer free tonight and will wake up tomorrow in the same exact cancer free place. The rest is outta my hands. Thank goodness!!!

SO, she is 6 and Cancer Free and this year life is far less stressful than it was last year and the year before that AND the year before that!!


2 comments:

Michelle Merimee said...

Phil 4:6

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