PawPaw's Post

Written by PawPaw (Brent's Dad)

As the father of a handicapped child I always wondered “why us” , why not let this child have a normal life, why did God do this. Kim (grandma) is a saint, she has taken on the situation for 30 years with patience and love where I was less understanding of the situation and question God’s reasons for this, I was mad at the world instead of coping with the situation like Kim. When we were told of this situation of our first child by the doctors it was like someone hitting you in the chest with a sledge hammer then you pick yourself up and try and deal with it the best you can, not knowing for sure what is the best way, but you try and do what you think is right. It’s a lonely feeling sometimes like your on your own and only the support of your family and friends help you get through it.

So here we are, 30 years later, life is good, your kids have grown up, graduated college, got married, bought houses, had children, etc. Life is good. Then you find out your little granddaughter has the dreaded word “cancer”. Here comes that sledge hammer again, right in the chest, life seems numb, it’s hard to work, it’s hard to sleep, sometimes it hard to not shed tears. And then it comes to my mind again “why us”, why make this poor little thing go through this, why do this to these parents. Maybe some day if I am lucky me and God will be able to sit down and have this discussion.

When Kim told me of the Leukemia walk we did last Saturday I did not think it was a big deal, we are going to go down to the river front, get in line with a few people and take a one mile walk. What I experienced was totally different than expected. I saw a thousand, maybe two thousand or so people, carrying red and white balloons with lights inside them. People were wearing different kinds of personalized t-shirts to support their sick friends or family member, or the heart breaking t-shirts that read “in memory of.” But then there were the encouraging blue and white t-shirts that said “survivor."To be able to talk to these people and share their experiences and concern for your loved one, it was awesome.

We will still have the sleepless nights, the challenge to concentrate at work not on ViviAnne’s illness, the worrying about the parents and kids. But I see the goodness and support of family and friends, friends of friends, even strangers, the determination of the doctors at Kosair, the determination of Brent and Kristen and the support of the Leukemia foundation. I see all this and I say to myself, we will succeed in this quest and one day we will be with VivivAnne down on the river front, walking that mile with her blue and white t-shirt that says “SURVIVOR”.